Friday, June 1, 2007

its June!

The beginning of June is a beginning and an end of alot of things...especially this year... Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This is the end of preschool for Steven and Dominic...My babies are turning 5 this year...a sad but happy time for me...How am i gonna handle the fact that they arent babies anymore...that scares me alot...i dont have the ability to have babies anymore, and before you go and say but you have 4 isnt that enough..lol..i had 3 pregnancies...lots of people have way more then that, and i think i am one of those that should have...if i had been with someone who was of mental support to me then i probably would have...I am happy for them to be moving on to Kindergarten, its a big step in the process of them growing up...for that i am excited...i will be the proud mommy standing at the playground at school smiling big for the first day of school...it will be a big day for them...

Michael will no longer be in the lower elementary school...he is moving on up to the 3rd grade...i am very excited for him...he has come such a long way...with the help and services that the school has provided we went from being a non talking, tempermental child, to a greatest little buddy...i am so very proud of the progress he has made...Since denny has moved out Michael and I understand each other better...ive gotten older, and i understand his limits, his triggers, and the signs of him becoming frustrated...that helps alot with his autism...the fact that mommy understands now...this summer he will have his last single digit birthday...My boy is turning 9!..so very hard to believe...

Logan is moving on to first grade...he is very excited about this...he is also excited about the fact that his little brothers are gonna be going to school with him...Now he can feel like the big man on campus...lol...he also just learned to ride his bike without training wheels, and so i can imagine this summer being a very active one for him..he just learned a week ago, and he is already trying to pop wheelies and stuff...lol...lil daredevil...he is very happy that summer break is almost here...

this is the month of my 30th birthday...oh boy. like i said before, not sure how to feel about that...lol will have to figure that out before i write more....

lots of birthdays this month....and June is always the month for weddings was hoping i could see one...I love going to weddings, it means the begging of something great...and i like to watch them because i missed mine...lol...seeing a beautiful June bride is a great way to start the summer off...

Nick will be here June 24th...im getting really excited now that it is the same month of him coming...now the real countdown can begin...its gonna be a great time...swimming, hanging out...just being us...I miss him so very much...the distance is difficult, but im doing well with it, well most of the time anyway...sometimes old fears shine through, but i seem to sort through those fears and reality pretty well...

So this summer will be the very end of me being a Stay-at-home mommy also...im glad to be getting out into the workforce again...i am a natural born worker, whereas being a mom was something i had to learn...I am so greatful that i had that chance to be that for my kids...To be able to be with them and watch them grow...I was selfish for a while, and decided to go to work after logan was born...for the most part i lost the first 2 years of his life because i was gone 11 hours a day...then was so busy taking care of the house and stuff like that, the boys didnt always get the attention they needed....but i cant take it back...all i could do was make up for it...and i think i have...but now is the time for me to go back to work, and i am really getting excited about it...im not sure how i am gonna be a single(Kinda), working mother of 4 boys and take care of the house too, but i am ready for that challenge...I am ready for a change in my life...ready to be more independant...ive had my time with my boys, now its time for me to work outside the home...they dont need me like that anymore, so its time to change things...its kind of painful that they dont need mommy like that anymore...that isnt something i am looking foreward to...

Well...Happy June!!!!! Summer is upon us...enjoy it, and dont forget to hug you little ones...Take the time to read a book...Lay in the shade and take a nap...Just enjoy life...And smile alot, it makes the heart lighter...

1 comment:

EStump said...

Now comes the balancing act! Working is great for your self-esteem. It bolstered my confidence greatly, but I still struggle w/ the old, "am I doing enough" guilt trips. I think it's typical of mom's. :-) It's great to read about your boys and you. Loved this blog!