Monday, July 30, 2007

Everything in its own time

So, i know that they say "everything worth having comes in its own time, and is worth waiting for", but damned if im tired of waiting...I want so badly to be free of the past, and i am tired of waiting for it...The papers for my divorce still have not been filed, and i dont get enough money to file them myself...i very rarely have anything left over at the end of the month, and when i do, it goes for the kids stuff...It is a very frustrating situation...He has been gone for a year and a half now, and its time to let it go...i let go along time ago, I dont understand why he keeps holding on...he has not lived with us for a year and a half, we have both moved on emotionally, hell we cant even stand each other anymore, and still, i am tied to him...I am soooo ready to be free of it...

Anyway, after having been turned down for work because of my obligation to be here for my children, and after a lecture from my mom, i have decided to continue on with opening my daycare back up...i did daycare about 8 years ago, and was gonna start it back up last year, but because of the house not being finished, i was not able to...the back room leaks so i cannot finish it...i will be working on coming up with a solution to that, and seems how i know nothing about doing my own roof, i will have to rely on others to help me with it...but once that is done, i think i can make decent money doing daycare...its scary to start something new like that, but no employer i talked to so far wants to hire a person who can only work till 2:30pm...I have to be there for my boys, this is Bangor, and not alot of options for work or daycare are here...I refuse to put them with someone i dont trust, its why i have been home all along, well besides the cost of putting 4 kids in daycare would take any check i had anyway...

so anyway, im tired of people standing in my way...if you dont want to be a positive part of my life, leave...The boys and I are fine without you...I can, and will stand on my own 2 feet...

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