Thursday, December 20, 2007

time flies, things change, christmas

so its been 2 years now since my world kind of fell out from under me...It really does amaze me how fast it has gone, and how much has happened, and how much has changed...I had a veil over my eyes, or rose colored glasses on 2 years ago, thank the gods im a little smarter now...Life has changed so much, and it took me a while to realize its so much better...we may not have the things we had before, but the boys and i share a closeness that we never experienced when our lives were so hectic...I am actually thankful for all of the things that have brought me to this point in my life...

things have changed so much...With nick overseas i have found that i dont always feel as strong as i did...in fact, it seems my emotions are on a huge rollercoaster...My insecurities seem to be calling me out...and i swear, if isecurity was a person, i would punch the bitch in the face...its taking a really confident person, and making her feel needy, and all twisted up inside....is it worth it? your damn right it is...

on to christmas...this year im not really looking foreward to it...its strange to feel that way, because this is usually my favorite time of year...its not becuase of money issues, im just not in the mood for it...the only thing i have up this year is the tree...and i think that will come down the day after xmas..i dont even enjoy looking at it this year....im not crying about it, i just want the new year to start...this last year has just been too hard, and i need it to end, and i need a fresh start...

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