Monday, March 3, 2008

im just mad

So, a little back story....our divorce was finally started last september, and what a better day to get the papers sent to me then on Halloween...i was so excited, and found humor in the fact that i got my copy of the divorce papers on Nicks favorite holiday...well, i guess it was my pay backs for getting cocky...

I found out some news on Friday, but had to wait a couple of days to write about it, because otherwise this blog post would just be one long string of swearing...At this point im feeling defeated, beatdown, deflated, and just tired of it...those are the better words i have chosen...just writing about it is making my heart beat faster again...in angry, im sad, im really really mad...I got a letter from the courts on Friday saying Denny hadnt gone in to fill out some papers, so our divorce was thrown out of the court system due to "no progress"...he has barely worked for 3 months...he has had all the time in the world to get this paper signed...so, its done, its thrown out...once again "D" decided that time would bend for him, and he could do it in his own sweet ass time...unfortunatley the court systems dont care about him personally...they care about things getting done on time...our divorce would have been final the endof this month, or the beginning of next...i could have finally moved on with my life...i was so excited...no, all I want to do is cry...just let me go dammit...let me have my life back...all i can do is cry,becuase i just dont understand why, with only 1 month left to go, did he have to do this to me...havent you messed with me enough? Why cant you let me get on with things? it was over long before you walked out the door...why make it last longer...i want out...

i really just dont know where to go from here...i dont know what to do next...It probably gonna be another 6 months of waiting for him to get the papers filed again, then 6 months of waiting for it to become final...why dont i file myself? it takes money, and money is just something i dont have....not the amount it would take to do this divorce...if i could get a lawyer i would...i just dont know what to do....i cant even look at him...im afraid if i do, i will attack...its how i feel....

so, right now, im just feeling broken and so very emotional...

usually i just say ok, lets get going on how to fix this, but i just cant do it this time...its taken all the energy i have to just get through the last couple of days....its been over 2 years of just wanting to be free...i was almost there, i could feel it...

2 comments:

Stump Home said...

Maybe this link will help...

http://www.completecase.com/?referrer=google&campaign=inexpensive+divorce

I just googled cheap divorce...LOL.

I think Tara, you are going to have to file yourself. Talk to your relatives. Denny left you, but for whatever reason is hanging on to this. I don't know him, but it seems just very passive aggressive and another way to control. That would just be my guess based on what you say. OF COURSE there is always the possibilty he has regrets....
Can a family be saved? I don't know. Perhaps you just need to sit down w/ him, w/ another witness...like a relative and start hashing it out.

Tara S. said...

oh girl, there is no saving this relationship, it was over when he walked out..he has become such a disgusting human being..really just gross...really, some of the things he does just turns my stomach...

we were doing the divorce ourselves, andit was filed in my name, he just paid for it...but there was a paper he needed to sign, and the court gave hima month to doit...idont want to be connected to this man anymore...he
is not the person i knew long ago..

and of course no saving...i have a man that treats methe way i deserve, and he completes this family...im not a big fan of divorce, but i lost him years and years ago...more info is coming out about the things he did while we were married andi was just to stupid not to see it...