Sunday, June 29, 2008

is it November yet? :(

No, i guess it isnt yet huh? so, we have 6 1/2 months down on this deployment, and some days it seems we have forever more to go...but then i think about it, and we are on the last leg of this part of our lives...soon it wont be like this anymore...we still have a ways to go, but we are on the final count down...there are some days lately that it seems hard to even function...my heart aches sometimes from missing him so much...i just want him home...
i need something to keep my mind off the rest of the time we have to wait...i want to go to school so bad...but i cant because of the stupid student loans from before...i just need something to make this time seem less ominous...its overwhelming my every thought...its all worth it of course, but i need to find something to keep myself busy...i cant go do anything, because my van is dying...im stuck here, and i feel totally useless...

ok, so now that i have my frustrations out, i will move on...The kids have been in summer school this week, and they seem to really enjoy it...its all at michaels school...Logan thinks he is a big shot because he is in the big kids school...the twins are a little intimidated by it...because the middle school kids are there at this point too...they think its pretty cool though, they eat breakfast there...we dont have to get up as early that way...and they are happy because sometimes they can choose chocolate milk in the morning..lol...they dont get to do that at home...

most of our summer has just been us hanging out here at home...gas prices are too dang high to really go too many places...the boys do have a few little girl friends that come from down the road...they all jump on the trampoline together...its nice that the kids finally have some friends around here...

the neighborhood has been so much noisier since summer hit...there is a house down the road that has people in and out of it 24/7...the cops still watch it all the time...but now they have made friends with another house on the block, and they are constantly going back and forth between the two...

the house seems to be getting more organized...seems ive been working on that for about 2 years now...i really dont know what more to do with it...i always feel like we just have too much stuff...but yet, ive gotten rid of so much...sometimes i think if someone could just come in here and get me organized, then i could keep it that way...but, part of the problem is i have no storage space...denny still has the garage packed with stuff, and the shed is full of mold cuz it leaks...so most things have to be stored in the house...im thinking of just going back on my word, and telling him that he needs to get his crap out of there...but i have a hard time with that....i dont like the idea of going back on my word...and it frustrates me that i know i need to....

its been a quiet weekend around here...the boys are wtih denny, and i have spent the weekend alone...i slept in, watched movies, and did some laundry...i enjoy the quiet time, but i miss the boys when they are gone...i cant wait for them to come home tonight...

Sunday, June 22, 2008

week in review :)





This week has been a busy one for us...its been nice to have things to do...Monday the boys and i woke up early and went to walmart and i let the boys pick out some block and flowers...we made a little garden in the back corner of the yard...we had a great time doing it...it isnt the most sophisticated of gardens, but it was fun!


Then later in the day the boys made fathers day presents for daddy...they were a little late because i was gonna do it Friday, but they ended up spending the day at daddies...they were so proud of themselves for making him something



Tuesday and Wedneday we just hung out here...we had some rain and storms...so we just stuck around the house and they played and relaxed...Thursday we went to the big park in South Haven...and they played for a little while...ran some of the energy out...

This weeked i was suppose to go to a little party at a friends house, but there wasnt enough interest in it...Friday night we hung out at my aunt Renee's for a bit...that was fun..Just a bunch of girls hanging out...ive never really done that before...i dont have alot of girlfriends...My mom got us tickets to Birthday Bash, so Saturday that is what we did...it was soooo much fun...we got to see phil stacey, emily west, eric church, billy currington, joe nichols and chris cagle...it was a blast...there were a few incedences...2 people passed out, and one fell to the ground in a seizure...that was just around where we were sitting...i cant imagine how many more there were that day...
The boys start summer school tomorrow...they dont seem too bothered by it...and it will be really good for them...it starts pretty early, but from what i understand they eat breakfast there...so, that saves some time on getting ready in the morning...and they are out by 1:30...and it still gives them a month after for summer fun...







Saturday, June 14, 2008

A glass of wine and some clouds

it was such a perfectly beautiful day today, and i felt no need to enjoy it...Some days i feel so darn alone out here in BFE...I am tired of not really knowing anyone around here...I feel like a total outcast in this town...i have no friends to take walks with, or to just drop in to say hi...i had thought about going into South haven today, but i just didnt want to spend the day walking around alone...

earlier i decided to sit out on the back porch with a glass of wine, and watch the storm clouds roll in...i love to do that, yet i find myself not doing that kind of thing anymore...i very rarely take the quiet nature time that i love so much...im not sure why i dont really take the chances i have to really watch the clouds and birds anymore...i think part of it is, i just really cant stand it here anymore...i dont enjoy my yard, i think its so ugly...

well, tomorrow my new washer shows up...i cant wait for it to get here...it is so expensive to wash them at the laundrymat...its amazing to me that when something like that breaks your whole world turns upside down...well, the house does anyway...

i guess i really didnt have as much to talk about as i thought...lol...eh, it happens

Monday, June 9, 2008

2 years, Nick and I

I am really kind of excited about today...It is 2 years ago today that Nick and i became a couple...It was a rough start, and it took me a while to get use to the fact that i was allowed to be happy...He hung in there...he was, and is still my rock...The rollercoaster ride has become a steady road...I am so happy to have found a place in this life with him...i love you soldier boy...you are my heart...happy 2 year!!!

So the deployment is going pretty decent...its 6 months ago today that he doployed...about 7 months since i seen him...im ready for it to be over...we are doing ok with it though...we talk as often as we can...usually at least once a day....sometimes its longer, but not often...i dont write as often, but mostly cuz we get to talk so often, so he already knows whats going on, and i just end up repeating myself in a letter..lol...i try to talk to the boys about him often cuz they never really get to talk to him, and i dont want them to think he just disappeared...

some days it feels like forever ago that he left, but others it seems like it is flying...i have been trying to stay busy...its odd though, cuz the busier i stay the more i miss him...which is opposite of what people say will happen...i think its cuz i want him here so bad to do those things with me...i cant wait for that...less then a year and i will have him home...he came up with an approximate date today...and im so excited to have something to look foreward to...something to count down to...it will feel like life is starting over...it will finally all be coming together...

its hard to imagine that soon we will be able to spend our nights together...wake up to each other in the mornings...do things together that couples are suppose to do...i know to some of you it still seems like a long time, but considering how long we have been apart, the rest of this time is nothing...here's to hoping the rest of the deployment goes fast, and without problem...

Friday, June 6, 2008

Been a while

ive neglected my blog for a while, so i guess its time for an update...





Last Friday logan came down with strep throat...i swear this kid is the sickest one ive ever known...lol...





Saturday was Mark and Bambi's wedding...the weather was beautiful, they were beautiful..it was a good day...


this week has mostly been full of end of school stuff...the boys are very excited to be done with this school year...i am too though...it means that we can move on to the next school year, and Nick will be home for good before the next one is over...i cant wait for that...i need him here with me, were i can touch him and kiss him whenever i want...

so, yesterday was awesome...we havent really been able to connect much lately cuz of our schedules, and his crappy internet..but yesterday we got to chat on msn, and webcam finally...we hadnt been able to do that in about a month or so...it really made my day...

Today is the last day of school for the boys...they have a half day, and tonight till about 6 i will have 7 boys here...ack!

this weekend is gonna be so dang busy again...i need a weekend where there is nothing of importance to do...i really need it...Today is babysitting and cleaning, cuz it looks like a tornado tore through my house...Tomorrow is a wedding...yep, two in one week...but i want to go..it will be great to see Nicks family...its early in the morning, so i have to get up super early, to get into kalamazoo...its a long drive to the wedding...

Sunday my mom is taking me and my Gma out for an early dinner at Red Lobster for our birthdays..hers is today, and mine is the 11th...

this year on my birthday i get to take logan to the Nuerologist...that will be fun...ok, maybe not..lol...but i think this will be the last one for a while...still havent decided if he should be on meds or not...i guess i will talk to her first...

Im tired today...I promised myself i would get to bed early last night, but that didnt happen...not suprised..lol...i hardly ever go to bed early...only once in a great while...

well im off to finish cleaning this house, enjoy the weekend...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

why you should never judge

Never Judge'Some people!' snorted a man standing behind me in the long line at the grocery store. 'You would think the manager would pay attention and open another line, 'said a woman. I looked to the front of the line to see what the hold up was and saw a well dressed, young woman, trying to get the machine to accept her credit card. No matter how many times she swiped it, the machine kept rejecting it.'It's one of them welfare card things.
Damn people need to get a job like everyone else,' said the man standing behind me. The young woman turned around to see who had made the comment. 'It was me,' he said, pointing to himself.The young lady's face began to change expression. Almost in tears, she dropped the welfare card onto the counter and quickly walked out of the store. Everyone in the checkout line watched as she began running to her car. Never looking back, she got in and drove away.After developing cancer in 1977 and having had to use food stamps; I had learned never to judge anyone, without knowing the circumstances of their life. This turned out to be the case today.

Several minutes later a young man walked into the store. He went up to the cashier and asked if she had seen the woman. After describing her, the cashier told him that she had run out of the store, got into her car, and drove away.'Why would she do that?' asked the man. Everyone in the line looked around at the fellow who had made the statement. 'I made a stupid comment about the welfare card she was using. Something I shouldn't have said. I'm sorry,' said the man.'Well, that's bad, real bad, in fact. Her brother was killed in Afghanistan two years ago. He had three young children and she has taken on that responsibility. She's twenty years old, single, and now has three children to support,' he said in a very firm voice.'I'm really truly sorry. I didn't know,' he replied, shaking both his hands about.

The young man asked, 'Are these paid for?' pointing to the shopping cart full of groceries. 'It wouldn't take her card,' the clerk told him.'Do you know where she lives?' asked the man who had made the comment.'Yes, she goes to our church.''Excuse me,' he said as he made his way to the front of the line. He pulled out his wallet, took out his credit card and told the cashier, 'Please use my card. PLEASE!' The clerk took his credit card and began to ring up the young woman's groceries.Hold on,' said the gentleman. He walked back to his shopping cart and began loading his own groceries onto the belt to be included. 'Come on people. We got three kids to help raise!' he told everyone in line. Everyone began to place their groceries onto the fast moving belt. A few customers began bagging the food and placing it into separate carts. 'Go back and get two big turkeys,' yelled a heavyset woman, as she looked at the man. 'NO,' yelled the man. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. The entire store became quiet for several seconds. 'Four turkeys,' yelled the man. Everyone began laughing and went back to work. When all was said and done, the man paid a total of $1,646.57 for the groceries.

He then walked over to the side, pulled out his check book, and began writing a check using the bags of dog food piled nea r the front of the store for a writing surface. He turned around and handed the check to the young man. 'She will need a freezer and a few other things as well,' he told the man.The young man looked at the check and said, 'This is really very generous of you.''No,' said the man. 'Her brother was the generous one.'Everyone in the store had been observing the odd commotion and began to clap. And I drove home that day feeling very American.We live in the Land of the free, because of the Brave! Remember our Troops of Yesterday and Today !Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear. - Mark TwainA great example of why we should be kind and patient