Wednesday, July 30, 2008

wont do that again!

ive pretty much spent today with my leg propped up and iced...i am absolutely miserable today...i pushed myself too hard these last 5 days or so, and im regretting it today...last night i woke from sleeping to a pain in my knee that ended up with me crying because it was so bad...it didnt hurt as long as i kept it still..but when i tried to unbend it, its like it was locked in position...i wasnt having leg cramps or anything like that...its almost like when i would try to straighten it, my knee cap felt like it was pinching something...after about an hour it finally stopped...but today, it aches...and there is a little swelling...

i know i probably did too much, and now i know what that does...Nick its ok, you can say it...let me hear "i told you so" lol....im stubborn i know...

So Nick dosnt have internet right now..it sucks...im so use to Wednesdays being our days to chat...its his day off...He called me earlier, and that was nice...i just feel so lost knowing that its back to being limited...now, i know, back in the day, i would have gone for a month or more without hearing from him....but we arent in that day and age, and thats not what we are use to...but, i know he is safe, and thats what matters most...guess i will write some letter :) it will make me feel better...and i love writing to him, but most o fthe time i dont, because we get to talk so often..i end up repeating myself..

einstein is at the vet, i get to pick him back up tomorrow...i miss him already...i flea bombed the house today...we didnt have any, then all the sudden we were infested...no matter how often i vacuumed...they just kept getting worse...so, today while i was running errands, i bombed them! hehe...i declared war...i feel so important..

So, im thinking of possibly not posting here anymore...and going back to being really private...i see there are people reading it that i really prefer not to have an inside look at my life..i dont know yet, i havent made up my mind....

time to go ice the knee...

Monday, July 28, 2008

my weekend

I am totally exhausted! i started on Friday and didnt stop almost all weekend...i moved my bedroom upstairs...and everything except the big mattresses was moved by me...and the only reason i couldnt do it alone was because they had to go up over the railing...logan and steven really enjoyed their bedroom last night...they slept really well too...haha, now Dominic wants his bed moved...i dont think so little boy! yours was just done...your uncle pnut just put that bed together for you! the only thing left upstairs that belongs to the boys is a few toys..im gonna make them do that part this afternoon...

i originally had my room upstairs, but there were some memories i wanted to run from, so i traded with the kids...and it was my first time really being on my own, and i was freaked out a little...i like having my room back up there, but i have to say, its still strange for me...When Nick is home, we will make some new memories up there..for now though, its good to have my room back....it took me over 2 years to be able to sleep up there again..

Nick ordered some bedroom furniture, and no matter how i tried to picture it, it just wouldnt fit in the room down here...once it gets here and is all set up, its gonna look really nice...and it will make it our bedroom...i want to try to get it painted before he comes home for his r&r...have it all set up for him..

Nothing really has changed as far as the deployment goes...we are trucking along...i still dont get to see him for a while...but i consider this the final countdown...its how i am trying to see it anyway..lol...as Nick said yesterday, "we have more days behind us, then ahead of us" as far as the long distance thing goes...and he is right...for the most part its going pretty fast...i try to keep myself busy...

The fleas are really bad this year...Einstein got out a few times, and he got them...ive given him the drops 2 months in a row, and he still has them...so when i take him to the vet on Wednesday, im gonna see what they suggest...I am gonna have to bomb the house again this year...i tried other methods, but they are overrunning the carpet unfortunately...eh, at least it wil get rid of them..

Tuesday night logan woke up with really bad stomach cramps..So we were up all night long with that one...then come Wednesday morning his throat started to swell..soooo, off to the doctors we went again...i swear that child has been to the doctor more this last year, then all the other 3 combined...Well, he had strep throat again...its the 3rd time in a year...so, if he gets it again any time soon, i will really push the issue of taking care of it for good...he has enough health issues, and misses enough school already, without this problem too...

this is the last week for summer school, then the boys get a month off before the school year starts back up again...they really seemed to like it...all of the classes have a field trip on Wednesday..they are pretty excited...

hard to believe in a month the summer will be over...it has gone by pretty fast...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Why i love her

by John Mitchum

~ WHY I LOVE HER ~

You ask me why I love her? Well, give me time and I’ll explain.

Have you seen a Kansas sunset or a Arizona rain?
Have you drifted on a bayou down Louisiana way?
Have you watched the cold fog drifting over San Francisco Bay?
Have you heard a bobwhite calling in the Carolina pines,
or heard the bellow of a diesel at the Appalachia mines?

Does the call of the Niagara thrill you when you hear her waters roar?
Do you look with awe and wonder at the Massachusetts shore... Where men,
who braved a hard new world, first stepped on Plymouth’s rock? And do you
think of them when you stroll along a New York dock?

Have you seen a snowflake drifting in the Rockies... way up high?
Have you seen the sun come blazing down from a bright Nevada sky?

Do you hail to the Columbia as she rushes to the sea... or bow your head at
Gettysburg... at our struggle to be free?

Have you ever seen the mighty Tetons?... Have you watched an eagle soar?
Have you seen the Mississippi roll along Missouri’s shore?
Have you felt the chill at Michigan, when on a winter’s day, her waters rage along
the shore in thunderous display?

Does the word “Aloha”... make you warm? Do you stare in disbelief, when you
see the surf come roaring in at Waimea Reef?

From Alaska’s cold to the Everglades... from the Rio Grande to Maine...

My heart cries out... my pulse runs fast at the might of her domain.

You ask me why I love her?... I’ve a million reasons why.

My beautiful America... beneath God’s wide, wide sky...

By John Mitchum

-- Blessed to live in...

“THE LAND OF THE FREE... BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE”

Thursday, July 24, 2008

1930's wife

70

As a 1930s wife, I am
Superior

Take the test!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

this day is full already

yep, this day is full already, i dont want anymore things to happen...ok?

Logan woke up in the middle of the night with his stomach cramping up...now his throat is swollen..so, most likely he has strep throat again..this would make it the 3rd time in a year..the doctor and i are gonna have a serious talk about it..this child has seen more doctors in the last year then all the other combined....im ready for things to be straightened out...so, off to another appointment we will go this afternoon...with the 3 other boys in tow...i feel so bad for him getting sick so often...poor little guy...

my thermostat is broken..so i had to rig it up for the air conditioner to work...and now it runs nonstop! so i woke inthe middle of the night freezing!! really...i was shivering...

i woke this morning to find the brand new backpack i bought dominic on the floor...and guess what...the cat decided to pee on it...oh, and the carpet too...he goes to the vet next wednesday, im gonna see what i can do to make him stop...i cant have him stinking up the house...im already embarassed to have people over...

today im just tired and cranky and i cant take anymore...i want this day to be over so i can just go back to bed

Monday, July 21, 2008

Michaels Birthday




Can you believe my boy turned 10 yesterday...omg, double digits now! yep, i cried! whats a mom to do..lol...i miss my boys being babies...and seeing them grow up makes me so emotional...i didnt get to spend alot of time doing things with them when they were babies...i kinda missed out on that...it makes me sad...

Michael had a wonderful day yesterday...he picked out his own cake...i wanted to suprise him, but he had other plans..lol..

we had a wonderful turnout! and i am so glad for that...this is the first birthday in a very long time i was able to throw him a regular birthday party..and honestly, he didnt handle it well before...he would just get so overwhelmed...but he really has learned how to deal with that..i am so totally greatful to everyone that showed up..my mom, aunt renee and uncle Ed...Nicks parents and brother and sister in law...all the kids....it was wonderful...it was kinda last minute, and everyone pulled through for me...two wonderful families came together for that day...

So, michael was so excited to get some new stuff! he got
my old game boy
a remote control truck from nicks parents and some clothes!
some cd's and a cool case for them from my mom
a magnetic map from nicks brother and sister in law
and two really huge laminated maps for his walls..from renee and Ed

he loves maps!! the laminated ones are so cool! there is one they put up above his bed that is a U.S. map...and one they put on the wall in his closet of the whole world...he found Iraq on there, and told everyone that is where nick is...they all had fun with the remote control car...lol...it was so cute!

steven and dominic kept getting in this huge gift bag and hiding..lol, they would put it over them, and walk across the floor...totally cute


I dont know what the deal is with my ankle...i sprained it last year, just before my birthday, and ever since then it has been giving me some bad problems...they did the xrays when i sprained it, and said nothing was broken..but im beginning to wonder if they were wrong...it hurts! sometimes its ok, but others its just really painful...so i have gone back to wearing my ankle brace...and let me tell ya, looks adorable with my skirts..lol...i didnt wear it yesterday though..

im totally exhausted today...this weekend was so busy...my friends and their kids came over Friday night, and were here all weekend...we had a good time just hanging out..watching movies, cleaning for the party and letting the kids play...i was glad to have the company...Pnut fixed a few things around here for me..and he helped me get things back the way i want them..lol...the house looks great today...Bambi helped me tackle the back room...it seems to be a catch all for things...it was a great weekend all around...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

come to realize

So, i haven't really come to realize anything...well except maybe that im stronger then i ever thought i could be...am i dealing with things they way others would, maybe not...but im dealing...

i don't know if i posted about it before, but the big "D"was started up again...and im totally excited about it...in the same sentence i can also say there are parts of me that feel like such a failure....did i do my best....i don't know...do i do right by my kids...i don't know that either...i think i did...some may not, but i do...i don't regret moving on, and i don't regret that my marriage ended...it needed to, but that dosnt take away the thoughts of failure....i don't miss it...it was not what i wanted anymore either...neither one of us was happy...i feel at peace with life most of the time...but, i have become a statistic, through marriage,and financially...i am statistic...but then again, aren't we all? everyone fits into some group in one way or another...

some thoughts on the whole deployment issue...Ive heard some talk from people about whether or not a person separated for 2 weeks has the right to complain as much as someone for 6 months, 12 months, and 15 months....well personally, i think they do...i know it dosnt last as long, but there is still that pain of separation...no matter how long it is...true, the lesser times might not feel it as long, but they feel it as strong...oh,

and yes, i have come to realize something! deployments suck! yep that's right...they do...but on the other hand...a deployment can be used to strengthen your relationship, and you as a person...it is in no way a test of my patience, because i love him...but it is a test of life...and if you can use it as a positive, then its a much better way to deal with it, and its much better for your relationship...i miss him...with every thing inside of me, i miss him...but we get to learn ways of communication that a lot of couples just don't get to do...in fact, the art of communication is totally lost in today's society....

Ive become distant from a lot of my friends...im not sure why...i think they just don't know how to handle my devotion sometimes...they don't know how to handle my feelings, and sometimes my mood swings...they don't know how to handle me wishing he was always here...some of the friends that seen me through the worst part of my life, have gone different directions...i still know how to have fun, but i don't know, maybe they can just feel that a part of me is missing....at this point, i lead a very lonely life...one of my choosing...but they just dont get it...and thats ok, cuz sooner or later they will...when they see it was all worth it...i have found my life partner...my best friend...why wouldn't i wait for that? we are in it for the long haul...what is a few years out of my life, compared to the next 50? merely a drop in the bucket...

i have a good friend that needs some of your prayers....i cant go into detail....but she has been there for me...and i intend to see her through her troubles...thanks girl for being my shoulder to lean on..even if its only on here.. you have prayed for my mans safety and for my boys and i when i needed it....when you come home to visit, im gonna give you a big hug...."E" you sent me an email the other day, and i know what your going through hurts...you can do it...just stay strong...keep me updated...im kinda worried about you ya know...

i know this post was kind of random...but im totally emotional lately, and just needed to get it all out...i love you Nick...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

middle of day 3

So, this is the middle of day 3 with no cable tv...and want to know something? it was the best choice i could have made so far this summer...i dont have the boys nagging me for tv time, and whining because i say no...they are finding other things to do...and actually enjoying it...the background noise in the house isnt irritating me...now i can hear more of the kids giggles...thats a better more more pure sound anyway! Most of the shows that i like, i can get online, and im saving money by doing that...and time really...they show a few 15 second commercials, but not the long drawn out ones you get on TV...i dont miss it...and totally less distraction...

Dominic and steven are grounded off the trampoline...ive told them over and over, no toys up there cuz someone is gonna get hurt...well, dominic took a toy up there, and they continued to jump...Steven landed on it, and has a huge bruise on his face...it could have taken his eye out...so, they are grounded off of it....im tired of having to yell about it, and they are old enough to remember the rules...

im on a quest to find ways to live cheaper...and so far so good...now if i can just get some savings started because my van just isnt gonna make it much longer...and i dont know what i will do when it finally dies...i live in BFE with no friends around...so there would be no one to help me get around...i would be totally screwed...so, im trying very hard to figure that out...

anyway, time to go get the boys from school..

Monday, July 14, 2008

fun weekend

I had a lot of fun this weekend...Friday night the boys left early, and i just hung at home and relaxed with some movies, and a wet burrito...it was sooo yummy! Friday night i didnt get much sleep...we had 2 or 3 loud thunderstorms..and they kept waking me up.. so come Saturday morning i was exhausted..

Saturday morning i woke up and went to my moms and helped her with her wood floor...that was fun...i like doing that kind of stuff..exhausting work though! and it was sooo hot and muggy in her house...she has air conditioning, but isn't a big fan of it...after showering and stuff, we went to my aunt renees then headed to dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise...it was good...and my mom talked me into ordering this drink! it was sooooo yummy! lol...


So, then after dinner we went to the Blues Festival in Kalamazoo...talk about a good time and great music!!! The first one we seen was Kelly Richey.. if you get a chance check her out at www.kellyrichey.com ...i really enjoyed the show she put on...the rest were very good too...we had a great time there...

Sunday i came home early in the morning, and did some baking and chatting with my man...it was a great weekend all around...

This morning i got the kids up for school...and dominic was itching his head...so i checked him again...i check them about once a month..and i had just checked the kids last week...but, he had lice...talk about gross....and talk about givng mom the heebie jeebies! blah...so i checked steven too..and sure enough, he has them also...michael and logan dont have them...i think that is so strange! so anyway...i had some stuff here already...so i buzzed off all their beautiful blonde hair, and treated them....it was so nasty...they had them bad! andi have no idea how they could have gotten bad so fast...it makes no sense...but whatever...its done..and hopefully its the end of it..i reported it to the school when i went to pick up logan and michael...and they didnt even take note of it...so if they get it again, im gonna cause a huge fuss about it...

So im making it my quest to simplify life a bit...and save a little money too...today was one of the hardes ones...i had them cut off the cable...i cant really afford that luxury but kept giving myself excuses as to why i should keep it...but why pay for that, when i can catch all my favorite shows online...it just dosnt make any sense...so, i no longer have cable tv...and, ive made the sacrifice of not turning on the AC so often this year...ive gotten use to it...So the day without the TV blaring at me for background noise actually went pretty well...the kids were shocked that i did it..lol, but they will deal with it...

well, time to head out with my boys...have a great night! and thanks for reading!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

7 months down!!!

woot! im so excited...but i wasnt as excited about it, untill Nick pointed out yesterday that we are about halfway there!!!!! OH HOLY CRAP! Now im freakin bouncing off the wall!!!!! wooohooooo....doing lots of happy dances !!!! my high has not wore off since he brought that to my attention!!! hehe...i couldnt even sleep last night....i finally fell asleep at about 1:30...it just makes the end seem so much closer...we can do it...we are doing it...and to all of you who said we wouldnt and couldnt make it....kiss my butt!


ok, on a sadder note...My Sasha kitty passed away yesterday...im pretty sad about that...she was my bed buddy...and it was the strangest thing...she said her goodbyes, then went to sleep..she passed peacefully in her sleep...i felt better about it that way....

einstein hasnt slept in my bed in forever...and last night, he snuggled up to me...he has been pretty lonely today...and i was so suprised when i woke and he was laying there...he wanted to make sure mommy was ok...

i rented the Spiderwick chronicals for the boys and i to watch...its a little scarier then i thought....but it was a great movie! i loved it...i definately recommend watching it..


so, its 11am, and ive already done my grocery shopping and most of my cleaning for the day...im on a roll!!!!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

one year ago, and today

it was a year ago today that my great grandmother passed away...The pillar of our family...the only reason we got together on a yearly basis...it was so difficult...and to make it worse, i know that now that she is gone, my family wont really see each other...it makes me sad...in a matter of a year and a half i lost 4 grandparents, my favorite uncle, and 1 friend....it was a tough time...there are days i didnt think i could handle any more...i finally have had a break from all that..finally had time to heal...its strange to think that so much of my family is gone...at my great grandma's funeral, it was the last time i seen my grandfather...he died in November of last year...what a long year it was...

i had to take my sasha kitty to the vet today...it dosnt look good for her...i have a pretty bad feeling about it...so, in the next couple of days, we will see how she does..she is really really sick...

Monday, July 7, 2008

The weekend is over

and honestly, im pretty happy that it is...i absolutely love Independance day and all that it stands for...but this year, i just couldnt give it the attention it deserved, and i feel pretty bad about it...but i just couldnt do it...i want my man home, i want this deployment to be over...i want to wake in the morning and feel him next to me...i want our life together to start...i just want him home...

i didnt go to watch any fireworks this weekend...i probably could have found a way to, but i just couldnt bring myself to go...I just cant seem to enjoy that stuff without my other half here...we watched a parade on friday, and that was fun...i love to see the kids faces light up with that kind of stuff...then Saturday we went swimming....Sunday we hung out here till Denny came to get the boys to take them to the South Haven fireworks...they were pretty excited about it..

The boys didnt go to school today....they didnt get home till midnight last night, so there was just no way i could have gotten them up...

I had to make an appointment for my Sasha kitty...she is sick...im kind of scared for her...she seems pretty sick...and she has had lots of accidents in the last couple of days...She goes in tomorrow...i hope they can fix whatever is wrong with her...

im not feeling so great tonight...ive got a headache from hell....i got to talk to Nick on the phone earlier...we got cut off after a while...his internet over there sucks! he can chat most of the time, but cant get on the net most of the time...and web cam is a rare occasion because his net is just to slow...once in a while we get lucky with it...but its been a while since ive seen his face...I figured i would eventually get use to this deployment...and i did for a while...but right now it just seems so hard...i dont know how to pull myself up out of this mood...i just miss him so much...

Friday, July 4, 2008

Independance Day


Happy Day everyone...this weeked will be filled with family, fun, and fireworks...I hope everyone has a great time...And whatever your doing keep it safe...



in your quest to make the perfect weekend, please dont forget to stop and remember what this day is really about...think about the men and women who have given their lives to secure your independance in this country...remember to thank the veterans you see walking down the the street today....Thank the families that wait as their soldiers head off to war...Be kind to someone today..Hug the ones you have because you never know what tomorrow will bring..

flag

Fly that flag high, and show your American pride...
FLAG

Thursday, July 3, 2008

beach babes!

yesterday was a well rounded day as far as weather is concerned...it was nice and sunny in the morning, with really mild temps...then all the sudden around noon it got really hot and humid...then cloudy and really windy...and later, some kick ass storms!

so yeah, about those storms..lol...we only lost power once, and it was only for a couple seconds...wow the wind was crazy..Steven and I were in the back room watching the lightning, and next thing i know, it came down right in front of us..lol, ive never seen it so close before..scared teh crap out of both of us...and we both darted for the kitchen..in the process i tripped over him, and instead of knocking him down i grabbed him, and i fell instead..lol...so, my wrist hurts today, but not too bad..im just glad no one was around to see it...we would have been laughed at..

yesterday afternoon we went to the beach in south haven with some of nicks family...it was a great time...really windy though...it was hard to keep our belongings close..lol...and sand was flying everywhere..the boys had fun in the water..it was so cold though, i dont know how they got in there...after a while, they were blue and purple from being so cold..lol...Michael is my little water bug...he would be in there all the time if i let him...he was mad when we were leaving...he wanted to swim more...

Not sure what is going on for me this weekend...Friday night im trying to find fireworks to take the kids to, but im really not sure if we will be able to...the van is running like crap...so, i think we will be stuck at home...its ok though, i will try to make the day special for them...Saturday is the fireworks in South Haven...Denny is taking them to that...And im gonna try to get in to see them somehow....but im not even positive about that yet...I get the kids back first thing Sunday morning....well, when they get up i guess...i am just hoping for a nice weekend spent with my boys...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Happy Birthday Nick

Happy 30th birthday to my soldier boy!!!! He is spending it in Iraq, but our hearts are there with him...we miss him on his special day...but next year we will make his birthday rock!!!! The boys and i are gonna do a mini birthday party for him! and take pictures so he can see us celebrating....Happy birthday my love...

happy birthday