Wednesday, December 17, 2008

arg

These last few days have been just rotten...I miss him more and more every second...i hate this...and i hate being weak...Last night our bed felt so lonely and cold that i added an extra blanket just to feel like i had his warmth next to me...it just sucks...I am so ready for this deployment to be over...i want to be able to kiss him awake again...snuggle up on the couch with him while we read or watch a movie...the few days after he leaves are always the hardest...im feeling it more today then the day he left...the boys are moody...we all just miss him so much...

It was cute the morning he left, he had to put on his uniform, and when Steven seen it he got a huge grin...I asked him what he was smiling about, and he said "Nick is in his Army man clothes"...we don't get to see it very often because of the fact that he was in Hawaii, and we were in Michigan...and its nice to see it...i don't know why, it should be a reminder of the fact that he has to be gone so much, but to me its a big part of what our lives are about...i think its good for the kids to see it, so they understand it all...

Michael had his Christmas concert last night...I have no pictures to share...I had to take 5 kids to this thing, and there was no place to sit...i even got there half an hour early...I'm pissed about it...we had to sit out in the hall...I'm angry that i had to miss my child's holiday performance because the school cant accommodate all the parents...How smart would it be if we used the gym at the school...oh wait, that would give us all a place to sit so we could see it...im a little bitter about it all...the weather was crappy last night, and we made our way there only to be disappointed...

im having a bad day already, and its only just begun...maybe i should just go to sleep..

2 comments:

Beverly said...

Shoot Tara, I wish they all come home where they belong. I grew up in the military and remember the sadness and depression felt by so many wives and children waiting for their men to come home. I feel for you girlfriend, to miss someone you love and have no power over the situation. Blessed be dear heart!

A.C. Fisher Aldag said...

That is rough, it's the worst right after they go, before you get the first letters and phone calls assuring you that they are all right. Stay strong, you KNOW that Nick loves you, and he seems like a take-control kinda guy, who is gonna keep himself out of trouble, LOL!

Where did they have the kids' concert? And why wasn't it in the Elementary Gym, after we paid a gazillion dollar tax bond to build the stupid thing?

We're gonna do Yule on the 21st if you wanna stop by. We'll be cutting a little cedar that is growing thru our fence line to save money, and also for the furnace.