Thursday, January 29, 2009

Adopt a Soldier

2 Blogs in one day! you should feel so special! but i wanted to bring this to everyones attention!! I have adopted soldiers..ok, well i didnt need to bring attention to that, but maybe you will jump on the bandwagon!

Soldiersangels.org

check it out, sign up for it, do your part..we have soldiers over there not getting letters...they need the support...ive adopted 1 to send letters and some care packages to, and i signed up to for a letter writing campaign to just send letters to a different soldier 5 days a week...it only takes 10 minutes of your day...what are you waiting for?

i cant send Nick any more for now, their mail has been shut down, so now i will devote some time to making someones day a little better when they do mail call...you dont have to do as many as me, but do one! get your kids involved...its a good learning experience for them....

good luck, have fun, and make a soldier smile today...please

an update

well, i know my posts lately havent really been full of detail...I am sorry for that...I have had a rough time of things emotionally...I am trying very hard to pull out of it...But without sunshine, and very little interaction with people older then 10, im kind of having a hard time with it...Things are looking up no doubt, but my mind seems to be down and out...its unusual for me to get like this, and i dont like it..lol...

The boys are doing good...school is going ok...Dominic is starting to have a little bit of a hard time as the work gets harder, but i think he will be ok...Steven is doing well...Logan has stayed the same...his reading has only improved a little...he is good at math..im less worried then teachers..their dad is not great at reading or spelling, but great at math, and he is a smart guy..so im not worried...Michael is doing good...his reading is fantastic! Especially for a child with autism...his biggest problem is not doing his homework..but we are working on fixing that...im so proud of all of them...i need to take some pictures of them...i will work on that

Little hannah kitty is getting so big..and she is still a mommma girl...she is in that awkward stage...getting all long and tall, but skinny as ever..lol...Einstein is such a big lug...but still loveable...and even as big as he is, he thinks he is still a shoulder kitty..lol...he dosnt fit up there very well...and he will not let mommy sleep in..even with the boys arent here, he wakes me up between 7 and 8...him and i are gonna have a talk about that...lol

Nick is closer to being done with this deployment...i cant give dates, but its soon...im getting excited about that...him being away since his midtour leave has left me feeling pretty Blah! I just miss him is all...and its so close to him being home...the waiting is just really rough

he still spoils me...my phone was dying...shutting itself off, and not ringing when people called...i took it in and they said it had water damage, but funny thing...its never been in the water...silly cheap made phones..so anyway, he bought me a phone...its cool...its a samsung rant...its got a full keyboard...im a texting fool, so i love having it! the only drawback so far, is the battery..lol...but its all good...its purple! my favorite color!!! and it has a built in camera...ilove that...ive only taken a few pictures with it so far..


so, within the next couple of days i will get some updated pics up of everyone..

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

i want to be like her

i am not really looking for alot of advice, i just need to vent a little...

when i was a teenager i had this image of where i would be by this time in my life...and sometimes its hard to realize that i didnt really make it to that place...sometimes i feel like its too late...i figured i would be educated by now...college done, and in a good job...i feel like a faliure in so many ways...and i cant figure out how to get rid of those feelings...i want to be like the girl i dreamed i would be...

i know life takes us right to were we need to be...but sometimes it seems a little unfair..dont judge me because i say that...i love my boys, and i love my man...i just hate that i gave so much of myself up...i dont know where to begin to get that back...i have someone now that wants to see me succeed right along with him...and thats a start...

sorry, i was just thinking about it today, and thinking back to what i wanted a long time ago...

Friday, January 23, 2009

silly kitty

A little haha for today

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Love will always win

seriously so true!


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

my dreams and a new president

I don't know what the issue is lately, but every time i sleep i have vivid disturbing dreams...i haven't had a restful nights sleep since before Nick came home for his leave...i wake up more tired then when i went to sleep...and they aren't good dreams...i wake up sore...its just annoying...

Today i spent the day watching the Inaugaration out of the corner of my eye while i was taking care of house things...i had it one from the time i woke up till now...i was so moved by Obama's speech...i cried, like a baby...it was well put, and im excited to see where this all takes us...he gave a very powerful speech...and there were a few key quotes that really grabbed ahold of me...there are some parts i lost during a phone call, but i found the transcript of his speech on CNN.com and its just wonderful! i saved it to my computer so i could reread it a few times...i got the impression he really meant it, that he wasnt just putting on a show...

Well i applied for a job at the school...and i know it wasnt that long ago, but im pretty disappointed...i havent heard anything...i need a job so bad..something that works with the kids schedule..otherwise i will just have to quit when summer hits..and i dont want to do that...It is very frustrating...i know if i were working i could be carving out a nice little life for us...something comfortable...and maybe even a little in savings...but so far, no...if that back room was done i could get this house licensed for daycare...but the stupid roof still leaks...no surprise there, itsnot the only spot in the house that leaks...

its officially one week yesterday since my divorce was granted....it is a great feeling...I had one day of really being down on myself for it all...but not because i miss it, just because its the end of something that once meant alot to me...and something that gave me 4 great boys...its time to move foreward...and i am excited to see where that takes me...

i am missing nick pretty bad the last couple of days...i think its just because its getting closer to the end of deployment, so im feeling the need to have him home more...and i feel free to really be "out" about him, not that we werent out before, but its different now...and i want to celebrate that...i need to...its been long distance long enough, and im ready...i was so nervous about it for a long time...im so use to being alone...even in my marriage i was alone most of the time...and for the last 3 years, i really have been...its going to be a huge change,but one i will enjoy...

They have been keeping Nick pretty busy lately...long shifts now, stuff like that...soon they will be getting ready to leave! that will be a day to give a huge sigh of relief...i need it...he needs it...his parents need it...it will be wonderful!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Just Crabby

the day started out rushed...and got worse...i accidentally turned the alarm off this morning instead of hitting snooze...we still had enough time to get ready, it was just in a hurry...so, i go outside to warm up the car, and dig out from the snow...i think i got it good enough, but apperently not...i get the kids in the car, and get stuck at the end of the driveway...i tried digging out for 45 minutes, and then a city plow came and was nice enough to pull me out..so i get the kids in the car, and get them to school...Steven is home today, cuz he is sick...then i had to load up the laundry, because we were all out of clothes, and the line to the washer is still frozen...i fell on my ass 3 times trying to get the laundry in and out of the car...so, now i am achey, and cranky...my butt hurts from falling on it, my back hurts from digging and carrying heavy baskets...so after throwing a temper tantrum from frustration(yes, crying and all), i think someone needs to make me take a nap...so i can adjust the day..

oh, on a good note.....the sun is shining!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Flowers

i forgot to post the flowers Nick got me...totally made my week...im in such a funk this week...I miss him...I just want this deployment over so he can come home...:(

so these are my flowers...so beautiful...

Friday, January 16, 2009

snow, and more snow..oh, and eragon

we have a bunch...not really complaining too much...it is pretty...The boys had their 3rd snow day this week...they didnt sleep in of course...i didnt expect to have them home, so i ran out of lunch food....we had to go grocery shopping..with all 4 boys of course...but before i could do that...i had to dig my way out again...doing all this on my own is just a pain in the ass sometimes...

The boys and i watched Eragon tonight...that was an awesome movie!!! im gonna have to read the books now....it feels so great to be interested in reading again...i missed it...but for a long time i couldnt get interested in anything i read...it was irritating...because i love to read...I am really looking foreward to reading these books...

so, right now im reading a trilogy from Nora Roberts...about a pagan stone...so far i really like it..im only a couple chapters in the first book, but if its any indication of what the rest will be, im excited....then after that, im gonna read the sookie stackhouse series...the first book is what true blood is based on...its a series on tv..but i havent seen it...then, im gonna move on to anne rice...ive never read her stuff...and i keep hearing its good...so, all that should keep me busy for a while..lol...im excited about reading again...Twilight got me back into it...

Thursday, January 15, 2009

oh snow day

sounds like a swear word..lol...im sitting here eating my hot oatmeal warming by body...cuz baby its cold outside..lol...the boys have their second snow day this week...i have a feeling we may have one tomorrow too...i wasnt expecting it today..im not prepared...i dont have lunch food here..lol...but ah well...i have a project for them to do...that will keep them busy for a bit...i took some pictures of today, but my batteries died before i could take more...i will be taking more...its beautiful today...i just hope the snow dosnt fall off the trees before i get a chance to take more...

Nicks car makes its internet debut, hehehe, buried...arent you glad you arent the one that has to clean it off soldier boy?
its so pretty the way the snow is covering just about every tree branch....Dominic was the first one up this morning, so we stood onthe front porch wrapped in a blanket just enjoying the show from Mother Earth

and of course, even on a snow day, my boys dont sleep in...i actually didnt either for some reason...i was up before them...so here they are...all snuggled up on the couch, watching some cartoons...cuz thats what snow days are for! till i make them get dressed and help me shovel...lol
thats all for now, i had another picture of the snow, but it turned out kin of dark, so i will take more later after the batteries are done charging...

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Divorced

finally, i am divorced...its all done! im free to move on...after 3 years, i feel so much lighter...It is an amazing feeling...The whole weekend i worried about how it would go...it was easier then i thought...and the actual hearing went really fast...it was over before Denny actually got there...

it is such a wonderful feeling to be completely done with it...i didnt know it would affect my mood so much, but im feeling wonderful, like i can accomplish anything...and i can get through anything...this i am sure of...

i thought i would have more to write about it....but all my emotions are already out there...

Thank you to everyone for all the encouragement since it all began...a girl couldnt have better friends then I have...and its a wonderful feeling...

and Thank you my Soldier boy for hanging in there, and being willing to wait for it all to be over..I love you..i love you patience, I love your heart...

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Last Night

So last night the lady doing my paperwork called and said can you come at 5 instead of 6...OK no problem...well as im warming up the car, and cleaning if off to go there, she calls again and says, can we do this tomorrow? the court needs me to fill out some extra papers for this...i said no i have plans, and i need them tonight..so i told her i have to go to walmart, i will come after im done...so she says shop slow...

well, i drive slow, no choice cuz the snow was coming down so bad...i shop slow, no need to seems how walmart was pretty much empty because of the weather...but i walked around anyway..finally at 7 i decided it had been enough time, so i called her and told her i was on the way...she still wasnt done, and i said well im not driving around in this weather, so im coming there...

i get there, and she hadn't even started the last paper...i sat in her office for somewhere between 2.5-3 hours...i had to fill out a testimony statement, which totally confused me...and she had to print out more stuff...she had none of the final stuff done...at all...

then near the end she tells me, oh i forgot to send your paperwork in for the friend of the court...are you kidding me? the hearing is Monday...so i said is that gonna set us back? she said no, you will have to go to the friend of the court before the hearing and see if they can approve it....if they cant, i go to the hearing without that approval, and tell the judge the paperwork didnt get sent in on time...

moral of the story is, it will most likely be delayed...i will still get my hearing Monday, but i will have to go back for the friend of the court stuff...the courts are 45 minutes from me and im mad as heck!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Our Bank Account

One of my girls on soldiersgirls.com posted this, and gave me permission to pass it on...i hope you enjoy it as much as i have...

OUR BANK ACCOUNT

This is AWESOME....something we should all remember.

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each
morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved
perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After
many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled
sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual
description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung
on his window.

'I love it,' he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just
been presented with a new puppy.

'Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait..'

'That doesn't have anything to do with it,' he replied.

'Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room
or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged....it's how I arrange
my mind. I already decided to love it. 'It's a decision I make every morning
when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the
difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out
of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I'll focus on the new day
and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank
account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank .
I am still depositing..' Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3.. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Friday, January 9, 2009

no title really....

haha, i just couldnt think of a title...but its all good...someone will read it anyway!!

its been crazy snowing here in my little town...its very pretty, but very difficult to get around in...ive seen lots of little accident around town...people are just being careless on the icy roads...there are lots of cancellations for sports and things like that...i hope it stops soon for a bit...i have to go get the paperwork for my final hearing tomorrow night...i dont have a choice to go, i just have to...

its been 6 years since my last c-section..ive had 3...and lately my scar is so painful...its not as bad today, but still hurts...now its more like an ache....i think i pulled a muscle or something...its not the first time it has hurt...its just the worst...

The boys have been not doing so well in the homework area...so its time to crack down on that...time to crack down on it again...I cant seem to get logan to remember that he has it...in fact, i ask him what he did in school and he cant remember...when you sit down with him to try to get him to read he gets frustrated and tongue tied...but the teacher can send home a list of words in different types of print, and he reads it just fine...i just dont know how to help him...the teachers expect me to be a genious about teaching them, but im really just not good at it...i admit it...i dont know how to approach it...and there seems to be no one to teach me...my boys and i have a great relationship, but when it comes to homework, i have no idea what to do...i feel stupid for it...there are things they bring home, and i just look at it like "huh?"...i did well in school...i have no idea why i cant help them...i just know its frustrating...

So i am really struggling with the house right now...i get started trying to get it cleaned and organized, and i just dont seem to accomplish much with it...im tryin very hard....i kind of feel like a faliure at it..

today marks 13 months of Nicks deployment...im really proud of where we are in the relationship...ive seen alot of people torn apart by distance, and really it only seems to make us stronger...we deal well with it...its given us a chance to really learn to communicate...but with all we have learned, im glad that part of our lives is close to being over...a new chapter is about to begin...

Monday is the day...I will be free...finally...3 more days...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

some things

The boys are so glad to be back to school...although getting them back on a wake up schedule was a little rough the first two days...they didnt seem to want to get up, but today was better...i got the twins some cabinets for their clothes...they are really short, and trying to find dressers that they didnt have to climb up to get clothes out was difficult...so i got them each some little shelves with door on them instead...they like the fact that putting their clothes away, and getting them out is not so difficult now...gives them some extra independance, and i dont have to worry about it falling on them when they have all the drawers pulled out...

i put my application into the school...I hope that i can get a job there....its a sub job, so it wouldnt be alot of hours, but even a couple days a month would help pay the bills...so keep your fingers crossed for me still...i really need this...

this weekend is Denny's weekend with the boys, and i think im gonna take that time to really deep clean on the house...with nick having been here, and then the holidays shortly after, the house has been a bit neglected...its just very unorganized...

i didnt have as much to say as i thought i did, so i will come back to this later

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The boys go back to school tomorrow...i think they are kinda glad...its been a long couple of weeks...we seemed so busy, and we need to get everything back to normal...its been great to have them home, but they are getting bored with being home...and the weather has prevented them from playing outside too much, cuz it goes from being insanely cold, to warm, rain to snow, and just nutty weather...i should write an ode to Michigan weather..lol...i do love the snow though...its just making it muddy right now...we get a ton of snow, then it warms up and rains....this is seriouslythe strangest weather i have seen in a long time...

the boys got a wii from their grandpa for christmas...i didnt really think i would like it at all...and im not the kind of mom that lets my kids sit in front of a tv, or in front of games all the time...in fact, we have a gamecube they have played only a few times in the last couple of years...but this is totally different!!! its great...it really gets the kids moving, and its set up so that it is easier for them to take turns on things...haha, we played it so much this weekend that my shoulder hurts...guess that means im getting old...but it will be great for the days they cant get outside...will help them get some of that couped up energy out...i cant wait to see what kind of games they make for it...

we had some friends over Saturday night...its been a long time since ive had much company...and the boys liked that there were other kids here...

I am so dang tired....i cant sleep for some reason...there are 2 scenarios that happen lately...i go to bed, fall asleep right away, then im awake a couple hours later, toss and turn for the rest of the night...or, i go to bed, toss and turn till 3 am, then sleep for a few hours, and im awake again...im seriously about to lose my mind from being so tired....i dont know why i cant sleep....but it really is getting old...

im putting another application in tomorrow, so wish me luck...i really need this job...it will work with the kids schedule, and that is what is most important...ive put my application in just about everywhere, but no one wants to hire for the hours im available...ugh, i need to work...i need some independance from this situation i am in....so send some energy my way, light a candle, or say a prayer....think good thoughts, whatever you can do....i just need this...for my sanity...

our final hearing is a week from tomorrow...im all emotions rolled into one at this point...