Wednesday, May 6, 2009

just some things

well we arent sure if Nick will be able to come home in 7 days or not...some paperwork is not completely done, and so that may delay his homecoming..im not happy about it, but what can you do? we have waited this long, whats a couple extra days...its just irritating is all..not really an inconvenience...just more waiting possibly..i want him home...end of that story..

so yesterday i was in such a bad mood...i feel sorry for anyone that might have crossed my path...i am not sure why i was so moody..i was fine when i got up, and dropped the kids at school...i went grocery shopping, and bam, the bad mood hit...its like it just slammed into me..i made a real effort to change my attitude, but it was useless...it stayed with me all day long...one little thing after another just made it worse...but its funny, i look back at yesterday, and really there wasnt anything major.

I havent made up my mind what i am doing for mothers day yet...Its my weekend with the boys...i think i might try to plan a picnic at a local park or something...i dont know...I really want to do something like take the boys to a movie or something, but i cant this year :( I dont know yet what the weather is suppose to be like...but i guess a nice day at the park will be good...Last year was rainy and gloomy...

The last couple of weeks have been pretty rough on me...I am exhausted, and emotionally wore out...i dont know why...things are actually going pretty well...the only thing i can think of is that i miss Nick so much...as much time as we have spent apart you would think i would be use to it, but this time around is really hard...i am anxious for him to come home...i just want for us to be able to finally start this life together..

so have i told my readers how much i hate being lied to? or how much i hate when someone tries to "pull the wool over my eyes"...when you ask someone a question and they dodge it, and think i dont notice pisses me off the most...im not stupid...what is the hardest is i know the truth, and im so disappointed that people dont trust me enough to be honest with me...even if its something that will hurt...im not a child...and it will come out eventually...seriously, being treated like that hurts me more then most other things...especially when its someone so close to me..

So i have been told that my ex is badmouthing me...i hope it makes him feel like a better man, because i just dont care anymore...go ahead and spread the lies...they will eat away at your soul like leaches sucking the life out of you...and sooner or later, they will catch up to you...have fun with that.

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