Monday, July 27, 2009

things around here

We have 1 more month of summer break, and the boys are getting soooooo bored! im trying to think of some things that will keep them busy...i have a few projects i want them to do...i thought i would have the chance to make them study this summer, but it seems like that is lost :( my intentions were good...I had Logan read to me the other day while i was folding laundry, and he did alot better then he was doing at the end of the school year...I am nervous for him to start the next grade...Hopefully they can get him some extra help...

I have taken up an old hobby again...i started making necklaces...My cousin Jen got me back into it...i havent done anything too complicated yet, but im getting ready to start a 4 strand necklace...i would love to take a class on it...i think it would be fun...or at least have some friends that are into the same thing...

speaking of friends....I havent seen any of mine in a long time...havent even heard from them...i dont know what is going on with that...sometimes i just get tired of trying...especially when it seems there is only one way communication...friendship is a 2 way street...

My grandma had her 2nd round of Chemo last wednesday...it hit her harder this time then last time...the first round she took pretty well...im worried about her...i cant stop thinking about it...this is a woman who rarely gets sick...a woman who has been my 2nd mom...im not use to her being sick...i try to keep my mind off the fact that it might not work...a life without her in it is just not right...

I am working through some emotions right now...on several things, but mainly one...there are some feelings i havent overcome...how do you get past something that came from the person you trust most in this world...how do you get trust back? i know it takes time, but i hurt...i dont want to hurt anymore...i want this to be a really happy time...i never thought i would have to deal with something like this from that person...

We havent done any recent wedding planning...Money is just too tight, and with the kids home so much, its just impossible...of course, i would be happy getting married in the back yard.lol...but then no one would get to see my pretty dress my mom bought me...we have the dress, and a few small things already...

first before we spend money on wedding, i have to find a way to transport my children more safely then we do now...my van is dead...its going to cost too much to fix it, and im not putting that kind of money into something that will die again in 2 months...now all we have is Nicks car...a compact car...its great on gas, and wonderful to drive...its just not big enough...and makes for a stressful drive cuz the kids are always whining about space...not fun at all...so somehow i have to come up with a vehicle...

I am waiting to hear about a job...its an office manager job...something that i think would be perfect for me...im scared though...its been a while since i have been out there working for someone else...its an overwhelming feeling

Nick and the boys all start school around the same time...its gonna be strange...

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