Is it Friday yet?

this week is kind of creeping by. im trying to stay busy, but for some reason im still exhausted from being sick. I guess its just hanging on :(

Nick started his new job Monday. he seems to like it ok. its tiring him pretty bad. he isnt use to being on a schedule. i wake he does, so im waking about an hour earlier then im use to also. no biggie really. this morning i got up and read for a bit before i woke the kids. it felt nice to do that. it is really strange not having him here during the day. Mondays and tuesdays arent so bad. but the rest of the week he is gone from 7am, till 11pm or so..this will be the first day like that for us. not too bad i dont think, but strange, and different..

The boys had no school last Friday because of the flu going around. they were well, so they were glad to have a 3 day weekend. Saturday we woke up to Nick having a flat tire. his brother Al came to help fix it. The lugnuts stripped so that he couldnt get them off without power tools..Then we went to Barns and nobles for a bit, and sams club, then pizza hut...it was a good day.

sunday we went to nicks parents house for our weekly sunday dinner. Its always nice being there. i wish my mom and i would get together more often. It is frustrating that she dosnt seem to have the time.

I had an interview as a leasing agent on monday. im not sure how it went. the lady was really nice. and she seemed to like me, but im not sure if she liked my resume, or my answers. she talked and asked alot of questions, then said she had a few more interviews to do, then she would start the process of picking. I hope i hear back from her...it sounds perfect. part time, and the kids would only need a babysitter for a couple hours a week.

the sun is trying to shine today. i am loving it. its about time. there has been alot of rain, which i dont mind, but i was ready for sun too. im gonna take advantage of it, and do some walking.

Saturday is our halloween party! im pretty excited about it. ive never had a custume party before, even when i was younger i dont remember having one. the kids will be with their dad this weekend. im not sure if i get to go trick or treating with them, or if he is taking them out of town to do it. either way, i know they will have fun.

a few updates

Logan seen the doctor last Friday. Seems the doctor is worried too, so they are gonna contact the Neurologist in Kalamazoo again and set up an appointment for him. They dont really know what is wrong with him. So we start the process again. I am anxious to find out what is going on.

Last weekend as Al and Cyndi's wedding. It was an amazing night to witness! The men looked so handsome, and Cyndi looked amazing! They are a beautiful couple, and this picture says it all!
Dominic is sick, and now im getting it too. Headache, stomach cramps, body aches, sore throat and fever. I took him to the doctor today, and they tested him for H1N1, and strep. Both tests came back negative, thank goodness. But the doctor also said its not 100%, so now i have to keep him somewhat isolated. I havent felt this bad in about 2 years. Mostly I am just tired. I hope it dosnt last too long. I have a family to take care of.

Nick got a job. I am so happy for him. He seems to be pretty excited about it. I think he will like it. At least i hope he will. I am still searching. I havent given up hope yet.

My mom is looking to move out of state again. I didnt figure she would stay here long, im surprised it was this long. She dosnt really like Michigan. I hope she finds the type of place she is looking for. a place to be happy.

Gene the Pumpkin Man

Today we went to get our pumpkins...growing up my mom almost always took me to gene the pumpkin man, and i loved that place...Through the years since i became a mom i often took my boys there also...We had a great time...The experience was great...Gene is great with kids, and he talked to us for a good amount of time...You always leave there feeling as if you might be a part of their family...Thank you Gene and family for giving us such great memories...



It makes me excited for next year...Thank you for showing my family such kindness today...

i am so glad for these memories...Ive always been grateful for them, having Nick home makes them even better :)

conferences and stuff

We had the boys conferences today. Dominics was great. I really like his teacher. She said he is doing really well. She said he is above average in reading and math. There are some speech issues, but she isnt concerned enough to suggest speech therapy. She said he is really helpful in class.

Steven had a good review. He is doing well with his homework. She loves having him in her class. He is always willing to learn. He needs some help writing his numbers. The goal is to write numbers up to 100 by the end of the year. To be able to recognize and write them. He is in speech therepy and doing well. He has a hard time pronouncing certain sounds. He dosnt read well, but is improving.

Logan...I dont know what to say. The kid cant seem to catch much of a break. He had a seizure almost 2 years ago, and since then things with him just havent been right. He was learning at a decent pace, and now he isnt. You teach him something, and he forgets by the next day. His handwriting is really bad, and he often spells his name wrong. Mentally he is declining. Within the last 2 years his writing and reading abilities have gone back to as if he were a 1st grader. I am calling tomorrow to make him an appointment with his regular doctor, to see if I can schedule him for a referral to a specialist of some kind. I am scared that there is something very seriously wrong with him. His dad tried to make me feel like I was over-reacting, so I started to believe that. now i feel like that was a huge mistake. I feel like i let him down. I am scared for him. I see lots more testing in the future.

Michael is doing as he should. His teachers just love him. He is a joy to have in class, and is always polite. He follows all the rules, and does what he is told to the best of his abilities. They have cut back on his work load a bit because he was getting overwhelmed. He is on a credit/no credit status instead of grading. That is the way special ed works. I think it works out well for him. He has been great this year about bringing home his homework. I am really proud of him for getting as far as he has. I remember how hard it was for him at first. He is such a light in this life.

Nick got 100% on his first test..just had to throw that in there!

Tomorrow we are going to the pumpkin place tomorrow to pick out pumpkins, and have some fun. Saturday we have Logans football game, then coming home to carve our pumpkins, make pizza, and maybe some rootbeer floats or something. Then sunday its off to dinner at Nick's parents.

I signed the boys up for cub scouts on Monday. They will go to meetings every monday night. They are pretty excited. Michael didnt want to join. Logan can start going to the meetings after he is done with football is over for the season.

Al and Cyndi's wedding is only a little over a week away. i am so excited for them!

A personal blog..(reflections of me)

its been a while since i wrote a really personal blog..Ive done venting, bragging, wedding stuff, and updates...but once in a while i feel the need to really throw myself out there..

There are times when i feel so left behind and jealous...and times i feel like i have really failed at things...Im getting better at understanding we cant change our past...its just not possible...But if i had stuck with school i would have a really good job, a decent car, and a life outside of my home...I envy those in school, people who are sticking with it...i am often mad at myself for being bullied into stopping my education...being made to feel that it just wasn't as important as the things others wanted in life...I realize now that just because it wasn't important to them, didnt mean it couldn't be important to me..I want so badly to go back to school...but in order to do that, my default loans have to be paid off...but to do that i need a job, to get a job i need a flexible schedule, and an education...see my dilemma here? my loans are huge, but big enough that i cant even make a dent in them...while others are moving on, im still living with the mistakes i made 10 years ago by not following my instincts to go further with school...and here i sit, not knowing how to make it right...how to turn it around...

i feel like a failure...i need a job so bad...i feel like im failing my children by not being able to get one...its such a frustration...i have a vehicle now...but between mine and Nicks schedule, its just been impossible...they want me to have open availability...and i just cant do that...and no place i apply to is willing to work with my schedule...there are others out there that can do what they want...i have gotten so many replies to my resume's telling me im overqualified...whats that about? im beginning to think its just a nice way for them to say im not what they need...and that just sucks...

I want to feel like i am contributing...financially...i want to be looked at as a strong independant woman...one that doesn't need so much help...i want that education i always thought i would have..

I am proud of myself though...i think ive done a damn good job with these boys...in the last 4 years i have turned their attitudes around 100%...and when face to face with the woman my ex husband left me for, i smiled instead of beating the crap out of her like i wanted to...I have made a life...I am stronger, and more pushy for the things i believe in then i ever was...I am confident in areas that lacked for a very long time...

I am happy in love...more secure in it then i ever thought possible...and, IM GETTING MARRIED TO MY BESTEST FRIEND...

i try very hard not to get frustrated with my failings, but sometimes its hard...i want to be someone who makes a difference in the future of our world...i want to be someone that people can look up to...

sorry for the typos...i dont feel like changing them :)