Sunday, January 31, 2010

update on moving

I keep writing a blog down on paper, then never get around to actually putting it on here.  I need to be better at that.  I use to keep it updated all the time.  Life just seems so busy right now.

Yesterday we went and put an application into some apartments in Kalamazoo.  It is 4 bedroom. 2 bath, with fireplace and washer dryer hookup.  And closets! omg I will have closets!  I am not excited about living in an apartment, especiall top floor, but all the other things outweigh that part.  We will be living close to the places we need to be several times a week(work for me, school for Nick), there will actually be some kids for the boys to play with.  We will be right down the road from a huge park! Where the boys can ride bikes, and feed ducks, and just be boys.

It will take me some time to get use to it.  But when I think of all the opportunities this could present us, I just get so excited about it.  I am nervous.  Especially when it comes to the money issue.    We still have the wedding to pay for, and now it will just make it that much more difficult.  But i have faith in us.  We will do it.  We will be ok.  There is no other choice as far as I am concerned.

The sad part is the animals.  We are giving up Hannah, Billy, Einstein, and the bird.  I will miss them so much.   Hannah was my lifeline when Nick was deployed.  My kitty kept me sane.  She made sure i wasnt lonely at night.  She snuggled up to me during TV time.  I will miss her so much.  Dont get me wrong, i will miss the others too, but her the most.  She has been my companion during some really hard times.  But it is for the best, and she will always be a great memory for me.  I just dont know how to handle seeing her go :(  We are keeping Molly.  We think she will be the most adaptable because she is the youngest one.  I am not sure what to do about Einstein.  He is not a happy kitty.  And i am really not sure he would be happy anywhere.  He is an inside/outside cat, and he is always miserable and grumpy.  Billy will be going to a home where they will take good care of him.  A place where the boys will still get to see him, and that makes me happy.  They love that dog.  I feel bad for Nick.  But i think apartment living just isnt for Billy.  He is too full of energy, and kinda  yappy.   This will be the hardest part.  Saying goodbye to our animals.  There just isnt any other way.

I have heard that the schools the boys will be going to are more advanced in math and reading, and I think that is really important.  The school they are in now has done really well for Michael, but i see the other 3 just falling through the cracks.  The teachers are great people, but the school system is just way too soft on discipline.  They dont get into any real trouble for not doing what they are told.   Not like we use to as kids.  They arent held accountable for any of their learning.  I love them being in a smaller school, but i dont see it benefiting them at all.  They have no friends to play with outside of school, and i hate the 'hood we live in.

It still dosnt feel real that we are moving so soon.  We should be able to move in end of February-mid March.  That is so close.  I have so much to do.  Packing, and sorting, and cleaning, and still planning a wedding.  The thought of it all is pretty overwhelming to me right now.  I have things to sell, and give away.  Things to toss.  Just 11 years worth of things, and I dont know where to start.  We have to downsize our lives from a house, to an apartment.  I know it will be a cleansing experience, but hard on the emotions too.

All in all things are coming along.  Fast

Thursday, January 14, 2010

bad blogger!

I have been such a bad Blogger lately.  I havent kept up with it at all.  Life has been so busy. 

We dont have a place to move to yet, but we are looking into some apartments.  I am not all that excited about apartment living, but i really think it will be good for us.  Bills will be less, and it has more space then my house.  Not to mention 2 full bathrooms!  i havent had more then one bathroom in a very long time!  So when money comes through like its suppose to then we will get that all taken care of.  I cant wait to move.  A fresh start

I am really loving work.  We arent real busy  yet, but we will be.  Last Saturday was a record day for the new store, and i had so much fun being busy.  And it is such a good feeling going home at the end of the day knowing you helped so many people. 

The kids had a great winter break from school.  they played outside alot, and vegged some.  but they were glad to go back to school, cuz they like that too.

There really dosnt seem to be anything to update.

The ex husband went to court Monday, and they told him to pay up on the child support.  i think he figured he would go in there and they would be sympathetic.  i didnt go to this court hearing for him.  I wasnt required to be there, and i didnt want to deal with him being all pissy with me.  i am not the one pushing for all of it, Friend of the court is.  its not like i go in there and bitch about it.  i havent talked to the courts once about it.  its out of my hands thank goodness.  i have nothing to feel bad about.  i am not doing anything wrong.  The only wrong i see being done, is raising these boys without the financial help of their father.  He was doing well making payments.  Maybe its my punishment for him having to go through the friend of the court.  i dont know.  then he never showed up last friday for his weekend with the boys.  i got no call or anything saying he wasnt taking them.  it was his weekend, i had them the weekend before.  but im not complaining, cuz it was more time i got to spend with them.

i have been pretty stressed out.  i dont make enough for rent payment.  Denny isnt paying child support, and they never called nick back to work.  I am a planner.  i need things laid out in front of me.