Sunday, January 31, 2010

update on moving

I keep writing a blog down on paper, then never get around to actually putting it on here.  I need to be better at that.  I use to keep it updated all the time.  Life just seems so busy right now.

Yesterday we went and put an application into some apartments in Kalamazoo.  It is 4 bedroom. 2 bath, with fireplace and washer dryer hookup.  And closets! omg I will have closets!  I am not excited about living in an apartment, especiall top floor, but all the other things outweigh that part.  We will be living close to the places we need to be several times a week(work for me, school for Nick), there will actually be some kids for the boys to play with.  We will be right down the road from a huge park! Where the boys can ride bikes, and feed ducks, and just be boys.

It will take me some time to get use to it.  But when I think of all the opportunities this could present us, I just get so excited about it.  I am nervous.  Especially when it comes to the money issue.    We still have the wedding to pay for, and now it will just make it that much more difficult.  But i have faith in us.  We will do it.  We will be ok.  There is no other choice as far as I am concerned.

The sad part is the animals.  We are giving up Hannah, Billy, Einstein, and the bird.  I will miss them so much.   Hannah was my lifeline when Nick was deployed.  My kitty kept me sane.  She made sure i wasnt lonely at night.  She snuggled up to me during TV time.  I will miss her so much.  Dont get me wrong, i will miss the others too, but her the most.  She has been my companion during some really hard times.  But it is for the best, and she will always be a great memory for me.  I just dont know how to handle seeing her go :(  We are keeping Molly.  We think she will be the most adaptable because she is the youngest one.  I am not sure what to do about Einstein.  He is not a happy kitty.  And i am really not sure he would be happy anywhere.  He is an inside/outside cat, and he is always miserable and grumpy.  Billy will be going to a home where they will take good care of him.  A place where the boys will still get to see him, and that makes me happy.  They love that dog.  I feel bad for Nick.  But i think apartment living just isnt for Billy.  He is too full of energy, and kinda  yappy.   This will be the hardest part.  Saying goodbye to our animals.  There just isnt any other way.

I have heard that the schools the boys will be going to are more advanced in math and reading, and I think that is really important.  The school they are in now has done really well for Michael, but i see the other 3 just falling through the cracks.  The teachers are great people, but the school system is just way too soft on discipline.  They dont get into any real trouble for not doing what they are told.   Not like we use to as kids.  They arent held accountable for any of their learning.  I love them being in a smaller school, but i dont see it benefiting them at all.  They have no friends to play with outside of school, and i hate the 'hood we live in.

It still dosnt feel real that we are moving so soon.  We should be able to move in end of February-mid March.  That is so close.  I have so much to do.  Packing, and sorting, and cleaning, and still planning a wedding.  The thought of it all is pretty overwhelming to me right now.  I have things to sell, and give away.  Things to toss.  Just 11 years worth of things, and I dont know where to start.  We have to downsize our lives from a house, to an apartment.  I know it will be a cleansing experience, but hard on the emotions too.

All in all things are coming along.  Fast

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