Saturday, February 13, 2010


I am trying so hard not to let everything going on right now stress me out.  But I dont think I am succeeding in doing all this stress free.  Every time I get this stressed my stomach starts to have issues.  Its like it all balls up in there or something.  I need to find a release for it soon. 

So Billy went to his new home on Thursday.  I balled like a baby, of course.  I cried before I took him, during, and after.  Who knew I was so attached to that cute little doggy.  Nick misses him too.  Its hard on us to have to do this.  Einstein went to his new home last night when I got home from work.  The couple that took him are really excited about having him.  Apperantly he reminds him of a kitty the wife had a long time ago.  He will be allowed to be an inside/outside kitty.   All we have left now are the two inside kitties, and I need to find homes for them soon.  I cant take the pressure of waiting for it.  If I  have to give them up, I need to do it soon, or I will lose the will to do it.

The people that lived in the apartment we are moving into have already moved out.  That means we can have the apartment sooner if we want, but I dont see that as a possibility for a few reasons.  First, money.  That would be the biggest reason.  Second, those would be some really stress filled days of packing, and Nick and I would like to do this as stress free as possible, its thats possible at all.  So we sign the papers on March 15th, that is the date the leasing agent set for us.  We plan to move some things that week, but mostly the weekend of March 20th.  That isnt very far away at all. 

I am excited and sad at the same time.  This is really hard for me.  I wanted to get out of Bangor, but not in this rushed type of way.  I am excited because this is a new start for us, one without the ex husbands fist bearing down on me.  The only ties we will have left are the boys, well, and child support when its paid.  It will be strange walking out of my home for the very last time.  MY home.  The home my boys have lived in for 11 years.

I have been working on sorting and downsizing.  Sometimes i just dont know what more i can get rid of.  It is a painful process, but cleansing also.  I have advertised things on freecycle, but so far no leads, except for the kitty.  If i cant get rid of stuff, its just going to stay there, unless we can find the time to take it to goodwill, or the salvation army.  We will see if it comes to that.


Amanda said...

I'm sorry you're so stressed right now. I can feel your pain. When we moved from Indiana to Hawaii, I had to leave one of our dogs with my grandparents and a few of our cats with foster parents. My dog ended up getting leukemia and dying since we've been here and my cats' foster parents love them so much, they've requested to keep them in the family.

It's difficult in many ways to make such a big change, but I think you're right-there's something cleansing about it. It'll be a new lot at life for you and the boys and you and Nick can build that new life together. I'm sorry it's so difficult, but I know in the end, when everything is said and done, you'll feel much better.

Jackie Savi-Cannon said...

making a move and change is very difficult on anyone . Pet are like our family and to be with out a loss. We wonder are they being looked after properly etc.

You will have things better...stress will lesson. Meditation and yoga are very helpfull.