Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Tired

I am completely exhausted!  I dont often work long hours, or do anything that requires too much energy, but I am tired anyway.  last week I babysat, and worked, then had a 3 day weekend with the boys that consisted of moving almost nonstop.  Yesterday I worked 2 different jobs...so I guess I do have a reason, sometimes it just dosnt feel like it.  Maybe cuz my paychecks dont show it..lol  I dont work that many hours at work, but I sure make up for it at home.

A part of me really misses being a stay at home mom.  I think the worst part of it is that for so long I was in every aspect of the boys lives.  And now it feels as though I am not any part of it at all.  I work 3 nights a week, Wednesday nights when I am home its filled with catching up on things..Every other Friday they go to their dads house, so that night is pretty much shot.  I feel so out of touch with them, and I just dont know what to do about it.  I am overwhelmed with the feeling of not knowing them so well anymore.  The woman that does the schedule give me as much time with them as possible on my weekends, so I get to see them some then, but alot of times weekends are a time when I need to catch up on household stuff. 

Houshold stuff....man....I am pretty much doing it myself right now.  Nicks job is physically draining, so I have been taking care of most of the house on my own.  And he goes to school 3 days a week.  I cant seem to keep up.  I am trying so hard, and I just cant get it all done.  Thank goodness I never claimed to be superwoman!

I remember when life was a little more laid back..lol..I really miss that.  I am totally holding out for daytime hours...one day maybe

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

10/12/10

There really isnt a whole lot of new and exciting things going on these days.

The boys (including Nick) are getting excited about Halloween.  The closer it gets, the more its talked about.  Halloween costumes get more expensive every year, but its all for fun.  This year I have the boys for that weekend, so it will be nice.  No going into bangor to trick or treat.  the last couple years there less and less houses were handing out candy anyway.  In fact, it just plain sucked.

The school they are going to dosnt celebrate Halloween.  instead they do a Harvest Festival, and the kids get to dress up as farmers.  Strange, but OK.

The boys all have field trips coming up.  The twins are going to a pumpkin and apple farm.  Michael is going to Chicago, and Logan to Detroit.  The trips are so expensive here, but its all worth it. 

Every time I think of the move we made, I feel so sure that we did the right thing coming here.  The school has more money, and more people backing it up, and therefore can provide what the boys need to be successful.  It provides them with the tools they need to be the best that they can possibly be.  They needed this change.  They seem to really like it.  They dont even mind the dress code.  I havent heard one complaint about it yet.

Nicks new job is going well.  I think its pretty boring for him, but he dosnt complain too much..Not at all really.  Our schedules are completely opposite.  I work monday, tuesday, and thursday nights.  He is home with the boys.  On wednesday, and friday nights when i am home, he has school.  we see each other a little during the middle of the day, and when i get home from school.  He has school on saturday mornings also, so i dont see him on that day till after he gets out, or if im working, when i get home from work.  i work most sundays.  its rough, and i dont like being away from my family that much, but i really do like my job.

I have had some self confidence issues lately.  That is really unusual for me.  Part of it is fueled by outside influences, but most of it is my own doing.  My own insecurities sometimes show through.

I have been looking into the possibilities of freelance writing.  I have no degrees, or experience, so this may be something that is just a fantasy to me, but its worth a try.  I was good at it once before, and I am positive that I could be again with some practice.  I love to write, I just havent been mentally challanged in so long.

So anyway, I am off to get some stuff done before i have to head to work tonight.