I am really struggling right now, and it is getting to the point where I am frustrated all the time. I dont mean to be, but its just getting to that point.
Now, before you read farther please know, I love my job. The people I work for are wonderful, and they try so hard to give me the time i need with my family, but there is only so much they can do.
The working nights part of my job is really starting to get to me. Its been a year of working mostly nights, and I am really feeling the pain of it now. There is so much I dont know about my boys these days. I can feel the distance it has caused between them and I. It is a distance I had to struggle to close after the ex left, and I was finally able to be the mom they deserved to have. And now that gap is getting wide again, and I cant handle it. I miss them. I look at them, and I cant believe how much they have grown in the last year. I miss out on the school stuff, and dinners with them, helping them with their home work. Everything. I miss out on everything. When did Michael shoot up to be almost as tall as me? When did it happen, because I really dont know. I missed it. I was working.
No need to tell me I should be grateful for having a job. I really am. That is not anything close to what I am talking about here. I do love my job. I love being a mom more.
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2 years ago