Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Less than 2 weeks

Yep, less than 2 weeks until Christmas. I'm pretty sure the boys are most excited about Christmas break at this point. Those 2 weeks of break are like summer vacation to them..lol

We have a decent start on our shopping, but we have a ton more to do. We only have 2 things for Michael so far. I am not use to buying for a teenager. The other boys are pretty easy, they still like toys..

We have Nicks family party this weekend. Its a long drive, I hope the weather holds out for us. I hate driving long distances in bad weather.

So, last year D and I agreed to do every other weekend, and every other Thanksgiving with the boys, so that they wouldn't be ripped from place to place on Christmas day, when they should be enjoying and relaxing with their new stuff that day. I think it is only fair to them. So last year I had them for Thanksgiving, and he had them for Christmas. He just had them for Thanksgiving, and it is my year for Christmas. Well now that it is my turn, he has apparently decided that it isn't fair that he wont get them at all on Christmas day. After cussing me out over text messaging 2 weeks ago, he hasn't contacted me since. I don't understand why it is he thinks that he is so much more important then everyone else, and what he says is law. We don't have a set visitation schedule in our divorce papers, so I guess I will write up some papers, and head to court. That way its all legal, on paper, and there will be no more reason for him to contact me in that way. I'm tired of his crap. I didn't see them at all last Christmas, and now he thinks it isn't fair because its his turn. He has always been welcome in our home, so he can see them that day. I wont deny him some time with them, but its my Christmas with them this year, and that's the way it will stay. He is welcome to stop in to see them. But his way of thinking is I am trying to screw him over, when really all I am trying to do is what is best for the boys. I am tired of him, in every way you can possibly imagine.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Tis the Season

The Holidays are here. Well, one is past tense already. Thanksgiving was a good time. We went to Nick's parents house. It was a small gathering this year. The boys went to their dads, so it was Aunt Paula and Zach, Chris and Randy, and Nick and I. My mom and grandma were invited, but chose to stay home. It was a quiet relaxing day. Lots of good food, and a little wine. I was disappointed that my mom and gma didnt come, but they wanted to have a quiet night at home.

So, I know that Thanksgiving is over, but I wanted to post about what I am thankful for. The list can go on and on, because my life is blessed. Even when it feels like all is lost, I am still blessed. I have 4 amazing boys who are ready with smiles for me on a daily basis. That is something I often take for granted. They are such a gift in this life, gems that sparkle every day. I wasnt always a good mom, I was too busy and didnt have enough patience when they were little, and I see how that has affected them to this day. But putting them at the top of my list has changed all that, and although I cant get those days back, I can strive to be the best mom I know how to be, every day. I love them with every part of my being, and I am so proud of all the accomplishments they have made. They are amazing little men..

My husband...What can I say? I dont even know where to begin. He is so patient with me, sometimes way more then I deserve. He has proven time and again his love and devotion to me, and I couldnt ask for a better partner in this life. He gets me...Not always, all the way, but he does. He puts up with my insecurities, something I have been working on for a long time now, and may always be a work in progress. He loves these boys as if he fathered them, and never complains about all the responsibilites he has taken on by taking on this family. He is the best kind of friend that anyone could have. I love him with my whole heart.

I am thankful for everything we have. A roof over our head, steady jobs, and at least 1 vehicle that runs good. I am thankful for the food we are able to put out every day.

So.....On to some really good news! Nick finally has a hire in date! We are so relieved. December 18th! He has been working at this place for over a year, and I am so glad they have finally given him a light at the end of that tunnel. The temp agency has been good to him, but its definitely time for him to have this moment. He deserves this. The hire in is moving him to a job that he isnt extremely excited about, but he said he will deal.

Not sure what is ahead for January, one of our daytime workers is leaving. Not sure if it will be temporary, or for good. I dont want to see him go, that part sucks. But, it does open up some daytime hours, and I can only hope that my bosses give me the chance to prove myself worthy of some of those hours.

I am gonna do my Christmas shopping for Nick this weekend. I cant wait. Its gonna be a strange weekend. The boys go to their dads, and Nick is going to his aunt and uncles farm to do some work..For the first time in over 2 years, I will be alone. I dont know how to deal with it..lol..