Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I don't know if I posted about my grandmas back surgery, but she is finally home, after a month of hospital, and rehab. She is well on her way to healing, and I am so happy for that. It was touch and go for a while, and I was really scared she wasn't going to make it. There were several times she could have passed on. But she held on, I am so grateful for that.

So while she was there, she had some CT scans done. And well, they are pretty sure her cancer is back. I just don't even know what to say about it, except that.....This cant be happening. She has beaten 2 stage 4 cancers in 4 years, and now this. I don't know how to live a life without my gma in it, and I know eventually I will have to, but I am not ready. I am not sure I will ever be ready. I just have no words...really I don't.

I was a mess at work today, and I don't see it getting any better. I need her to be OK.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Im actually making a goal

I never set goals for myself because I am just not strong enough to follow through with them. But this year I am making it my goal to lose and maintain weight. 50 lbs by our 2 year anniversary is my goal, and then maintaining that loss. I figure if I put it down in my blog that I may be more apt to follow through with it. I want this for myself. I want to feel good when I look in the mirror, I want to feel sexy when my husband looks at me. I just want this. I know he says I am sexy, but I want to feel it too. So that is my goal. I dont know how I will go about doing it, but as of this week I will have insurance, so I can see a doctor, and get things straight. Once on my thyroid meds, then maybe it will work. So, there it is. The first ever New years resolution. Now, who wants to help me..lol...cuz I know my husband wont...