Thursday, March 15, 2012

my wish

is that just once, somone puts me before the thrill of alcohol.  just once.  One person can make that commitment to make me feel like I dont have to compete with a substance.  Thats all

Monday, March 12, 2012

This was in my back yard.

Friday, March 2, 2012

A Little of Everything

Life is crazy as a mother of 4, with an almost full time job now. I am so grateful for the hours, but I am falling behind in everything. I have no social time, I have to blow off the few friends I have so often I am surprised they are still hanging on. I don't get any 1 on 1 time with the boys, something I always prided myself on before. I'm an emotional mess during my best time, and disastrous crybaby at my, not really, I just feel like I am losing my grip on time.

I am trying very hard to make up a chore list for the boys, because I just cant keep up with it all, and Nick works to many hours a week to have the energy to get any of it done. Laundry is the worst, so I think, with Michael being a teenager now, that he will be doing his own from now on. I just need to make sure he understands how to do it. Maybe if i write it up, he will be able to do it. I don't fold their clothes anymore, they have to do it. The only time I do, is if they are sick, or I need to go through them and take out worn, or small clothing. Logan and Steven are horrible about taking care of their rooms, Dominic and Michael prefer theirs to be neat and tidy. My room.....well, we wont even go

I need to get my laundry room organized and that will help. We have this amazing basement, and even after a year, we have yet to put it to good use. We have a habit of just throwing things down there. I need to take a day with the boys, and just get to working on it. i have a really nice laundry area, that if organized, would be an awesome space. My home has so many possibilities for organization, we just aren't organized people.

The boys have been sick. They are cycling through strep throat. Michael had it first, missed a few days, then Dominic, Steven, and now Logan. Logan seemed to be hit with more symptoms than the rest. Poor guy. He went back to school today, but he still isn't 100%. Urgent care should know who we are by now. I have been fighting to stay healthy. Ive been loading up on my vitamins, and my morning smoothie helps. Nick has been able to fight it all off somehow.

Speaking of my morning smoothie...Most mornings, I drink a smoothie of spinach leaves, strawberries, banana, and mango...sometimes milk, and yogurt. Most of my stomach problems(except the ones caused by fighting off kids illnesses) are gone. No more making sure I am near a bathroom at all times, and that kind of thing. It is really exciting for me...the best part, since the new year, I have lost 16lbs. That in itself is amazing, seems how I am fighting against an under active thyroid. Talk about jumping for joy!

I have insurance now..I don't know if I posted about that or not. Nick and I have it through his work. I have yet to see a doctor, but I am going to take the time to find one this weekend..We have dental, medical, and optical!!!! I cant wait to make use of it. Especially the dental. i have had tooth pain for 3 years now. I'm tired of having to be so careful with my teeth.

Nick isn't really liking the job he was hired in for. In fact, I am pretty sure he hates it. He is being so great about it though. He is amazing. He took half a day off to take care of Logan, because he gets paid days off and I don't.

And can I say, his step dad skills are great! The boys love him..they look up to him. Steven is his little buddy. he has adapted to the sarcasm is a good teacher. Steven has blossomed under Nicks supervision. i am so happy with my family.

Conferences are coming up next week, and Michael's IEP is the week after that. Hopefully no one will be grounded after next week...Logan has a habit of not doing his work..And if he does, it doesn't get turned in. that is so frustrating.

Things at work are changing. I cant really go into detail at the moment, but will tell when I can.

My ex husband had child support lowered by $750 a month. Now that its so low, he still isn't freaking paying it. What makes me mad the most is the fact that he acts all high and mighty about it. I'm disgusted with the FOC for letting this happen, and letting my boys down. They deserve so much more than that. He said its the economy, but I don't see him trying to get another job. That's just incredibly wrong. His reasoning for having it lowered was so that he could afford to at least pay something, and now, its just as sporadic as it was before. I'm so over it. He has to pay a total of $235 a month for 4 boys and wont even do that. I remember how badly he use to talk about others when they didn't pay the way they were supposed to, and now he is doing the same thing, but because its him and not them, its OK. Poor Denny..He makes me sick.

So anyway. My gma had her first round of chemo last week. It kicks her butt. I haven't been able to see her because of the boys being sick. Its frustrating.

I guess my mom and gma are still planning on moving to Arizona. But the house isn't on the market yet, and with my gma not doing so well, I just don't understand how that move is going to happen. But, its still in the plans, so I will help any way I can I guess. I don't really want my gma to go, but there is nothing I can do. She is her own person. i think its a mistake..but then, i thought them buying the house was a mistake as well.